is because I feel I’m lacking something.

Final year of school, everyone is discussing where to go and what they want to do in the future. Yesterday, a classmate was called for an interview for Oxford University. Now, this boy isn’t your average Nerdypants–He’s been travelling around the world BY HIMSELF since grade 8, been in rallies for Tibet (as a Chinese, no comment), and has British citizenship (yeah, being in the 90% of admission pool helps). Oh, and did I mention he’s a freak of nature (ie. genius)?

I, on the other hand, spend days fangirling about every single Korean man out there, sandwiches Vivi or Popteen magazine in between textbooks, and daydreams in class. Sometimes I’m amazed I’m even a Nerdypants!

Hearing about my friend’s interview was like having cold water poured on me. While I was wasting my time, energy, and potential, people like my friend were focusing on developing themselves and preparing for the future.

I was even more shaken up today when my girlfriends and I were chatting at lunch. One girl revealed that she was applying to UCLA, Oxford, and Cambridge with a FULL IB PREDICTED mark. She said she was considering Ivy Leagues but they didn’t have competitive field hockey, which is practically her life, so she’s only considering Britain colleges.

A second girl wants to go to a Sweden school so she can go horseback riding in the countryside, while another who has won competitions in web designing and who has been a co-manager of a Facebook shop is going for MBA. I also have a friend who has a gift for art–paintings, sculptures, you name it–and she’s going to Europe to pursue her career in Arts Studies.

And there I sat thinking, “Gosh, they all have so much talent and such awesome dreams.”

Now, you might have the impression that I’m a lazyass who became a Nerdypants by accident, and I apologize for my hyperboles about myself (is it just me who feel schizophrenic when blogging?). I’m not bad off academically–getting a few 7s (perfect on IB scale) here and there–and pretty involved in the school and community (well, you’re kinda forced to in IB). But as I said in the first line, I feel that I’m lacking the motivation and dreams my friends have.

And because I have no actual goal, I feel all my time spent memorizing the difference between limestone and granite, or the structure of the sinusoid, is wasted. After 12 years of education, I’ve realized I’ve been too caught up with the journey of learning itself to lift my head and find out where exactly I’m headed.

On the way home today, I wondered what I can start right now that will give me satisfaction–I can’t suddenly become a field hocky champion nor can I start reproducing Monet. I considered doing videos like Nigahiga, but then I would destroy people’s computer screens with my face and lack of humour =P

Then I thought, “Blogging!”

It’s easy with WordPress (5 bucks per advertisement, was it? =D) and if and when I become better at it, I might become as proud of myself as if I got in John Hopkins. Just might.


The birth of a blogger

Dear netizens, what you are reading now is comparable to watching an infant take her first steps.

–Her first steps on the road to becoming a maniac blogger.

I’ve always wanted to start a blog but like anything that I’ve wanted to do, it’s been procrastinated. Just a skill you learn in IB.

And now ladies and gentlemen, I’m going to break this cycle by actually going through with the blog.

As a Chinese by birth, Korean by fandom, and Japanese at heart, I’m going to focus on topics relating to these three awesome countries. You probably noticed from the subtext or subscript or subtitle that I have used a foreign word ‘kawaii,’ which is the Japanese word for supercutesparklyfuzzysweetgirly-ness. Since I’m crazy about everything kawaii, I’ll be ranting about that for the most part =)

But wait, there’s more! I haven’t explained why I am Nerdypants.

Nerdypants is a noun that applies to all survivors of the International Baccalaureate program (supposedly non-elitest group who have their brains fried from Extended Essays and Theory of Knowledge lectures). And speaking of IB, I just remembered that I have my English oral commentary on Friday so, uh, I’ll make the rest quick.

Basically, I’ll be posting random things I found interesting, ranting about how happy or emo I am, making totally ignorant political statements, and all the fun stuff.

Frankly, this blog is just another way for me to procrastinate. =D